These words were spoken by St. Martha to Jesus shortly after her brother, Lazarus, died. The story is told in the eleventh chapter of John’s gospel. It is a story that I can relate to personally. It is the story we hear in the gospel today on the Memorial of St. Martha.
At first, these words sound like an accusation. In fact, the gospel says that when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him. She did not wait for him to arrive, but instead went out to greet him and perhaps to ask something of him. Martha reminds Jesus that whatever he asks the Father for the Father will give him. Undoubtedly Martha was asking that her brother be brought back to life on earth. The gospel account ends with Martha’s witness that Jesus is, in fact, “the Christ, the Son of God, the one who is coming into the world.” Martha, in the midst of great sadness is able to declare her faith and hope in the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come. If only, we were all so faithful.
I have heard this gospel passage many times this summer. At Our Lady of Guadalupe, the families who come to the parish to have a funeral Mass for their loved one who has died rarely pick out their own readings. At OLG, we often use this gospel during the funeral Mass. I have heard the pastor preach his homily on this gospel numerous times (we average about a funeral per week here). Each time I get hung up on the phrase that Martha went out to meet Jesus.
Anyone who has lost someone that is close to them knows how difficult a time it can be. It is a time that will test anyone’s faith, no matter how rooted in their faith he/she is. It is a time when many people feel that God has abandoned them. It is hard to understand why a loving God would let bad things happen to good people. Sure, when we are not in the moment and can think rationally, it is easy to respond, “God allows the bad things to happen so as to bring about a greater good.” We know that in our heads, but in our hearts the words mean very little.
This morning started like most other mornings. I was sitting in the office in the rectory checking emails and preparing to begin my Spanish studies with the Rosetta Stone software. The pastor then walked in the door with a tired look on his face. Normally the pastor would be walking out the door to head to the parish office and not returning at this hour. I noticed a cup of coffee in his hand and his habit draped over his arm. Seeing the habit, I understood that he was returning from a hospital visit.
The pastor told me that he was called to the hospital for a young man (mid-twenties) who is a member of the inter-parroquial Spanish youth group that sometimes meets at our parish. While working construction five days ago, the young man fell off a roof and hit his head. The family called for a priest this morning as they were preparing to remove him from life support. The pastor told me that he anointed the young man and prayed with the family. I could tell that the early hour wake up call was not the only thing tiring out this priest.
We went about our day and I reminded myself to pray for the young man and his family during the Mass at noon. As I was sitting in the chapel, I watched many new faces showing up to Mass. Normally we only have 8-10 people at the mid-day masses but now the chapel was almost full (20-25). I guessed that from the looks of the people who arrived they were friends of the young man from the hospital. Then, during the prayers of intercession, I heard a lady pray for the eternal repose of the young man’s soul.
I must tell you that I was struck deeply by their display of faith. The pastor told me that the people who arrived at the Mass were, in fact, members of the family. Only hours after losing their family member, they were going out to greet Jesus. In their time of sadness and despair, they were going to Jesus and asking him to be with them now.
After Mass, the pastor and I returned to the rectory and were discussing the sad news of the young man’s death. The pastor told me that he had invited the family to the Mass and said that he would offer it for the young man. I kept thinking about the words to the gospel for today. I thought about the amazing faith these people had displayed. I know the next few days will be difficult for them, their friends, and the parish community. However difficult the times may be, we should all follow the example of this family (and St. Martha) and go out to greet Jesus in our time of need.
I realize that this story is perhaps one of the more personal ones (not for me, but for others) I have written about. I hope no one minds me telling the story. I have left names out for a reason. I just wanted to share with you the impact this display of faith had on me. It helps me to realize that when things get tough (no matter how big or small they may seem), we should go out to greet Jesus and not wait for him to come to us. We should turn to him and boldly proclaim, “I have come to believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, the one who is coming into the world.”
Please pray for the repose of the soul of the young man and his family.
Pax Tecum,
Tom
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
“Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died…”
Monday, July 27, 2009
Coming to an end...
This week I am finishing up at Our Lady of Guadalupe in Austin. I am putting the final touches on the Altar Server Manual that I have been working on and hope to have a final product for them on Friday. I also created a power point with pictures of all of the different items used in Mass and their correct names so that Altar Servers, Sacristans, Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion, etc. can build up their vocabulary.
The highlight of last week was the closing on the sale of my house. Everything went relatively smoothly and I appreciate all of you who offered your prayers. I am happy to be free of that distraction and look forward to a year of discernment without trying to pay a mortgage, electricity, etc every month for a house I don't live in.
On the way home from the closing, the air conditioner in my car went out. I think the compressor seized up because now the car makes a horrible noise when I drive it. The car also is in desperate need of a tune-up and probably a new set of brake pads. I am going to try and get the AC fixed here in Austin (mainly due to the noise to make sure it is not something more serious) and then try to get the rest of the work done when I get to College Station. I have to wait until Wednesday to get it fixed because I am waiting on a parishioner who owns a car shop to get back into town so that I can be sure to get an honest and frugal estimate. The car belongs to the Diocese and I am trying to only fix what is necessary. Suffice to say, I miss my old car but I am still happy to have wheels, even if they are stationary at this point.
I look forward to being in College Station next week. It will be a busy time with a lot of people to try and see. I will be serving all of the masses at St. Thomas Aquinas on the weekend of the 8th and 9th so if you are in town, please stop by and say hello (to Jesus first and then me if you have time).
I hope all is well with you. It is hard to believe how fast this summer has gone by. Before you know it I will be back to waking up at 5:30am at seminary.
Pax Tecum,
Tom
The highlight of last week was the closing on the sale of my house. Everything went relatively smoothly and I appreciate all of you who offered your prayers. I am happy to be free of that distraction and look forward to a year of discernment without trying to pay a mortgage, electricity, etc every month for a house I don't live in.
On the way home from the closing, the air conditioner in my car went out. I think the compressor seized up because now the car makes a horrible noise when I drive it. The car also is in desperate need of a tune-up and probably a new set of brake pads. I am going to try and get the AC fixed here in Austin (mainly due to the noise to make sure it is not something more serious) and then try to get the rest of the work done when I get to College Station. I have to wait until Wednesday to get it fixed because I am waiting on a parishioner who owns a car shop to get back into town so that I can be sure to get an honest and frugal estimate. The car belongs to the Diocese and I am trying to only fix what is necessary. Suffice to say, I miss my old car but I am still happy to have wheels, even if they are stationary at this point.
I look forward to being in College Station next week. It will be a busy time with a lot of people to try and see. I will be serving all of the masses at St. Thomas Aquinas on the weekend of the 8th and 9th so if you are in town, please stop by and say hello (to Jesus first and then me if you have time).
I hope all is well with you. It is hard to believe how fast this summer has gone by. Before you know it I will be back to waking up at 5:30am at seminary.
Pax Tecum,
Tom
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Cook'em low and cook'em slow...
This is a common saying that is often heard when referring to the preferred method of cooking ribs. To get the best tasting and most tender ribs, you should cook them at low heat at a very slow rate. For me personally, I bake them (if I don’t have a smoker) for three hours at 200 or 250 degrees and then brown them up on the grill.
I was reminded of this saying as I was reading Archbishop Timothy Dolan’s book Priests for the Third Millennium. I have read this book each summer for the past three years. I first read it while I was discerning applying for seminary. Then I read it as I was preparing for my first year in seminary and now I read it again as I prepare to begin my second year.
The fourth chapter of the book talks about the virtue of humility and how it is an essential virtue for a priest to have. Archbishop Dolan, in speaking about priestly formation in particular and growth in holiness in general, mentions that we need to have more of a “crock pot” approach rather than a “microwave” approach. That is, we must realize that we are not in control of our own salvation. We do not grow in holiness by the things that we do. To think that we can merit our own salvation by the things we do and therefore do not need a savior would make us Pelagians. Another trap in our growth in humility is pragmatism. Pragmatism basically involves us priding ourselves on our practicality and getting things done. It is a focus on doing rather than believing.
I must admit that in various situations in my life I have struggled to be humble. Outwardly at times I may display what people see as humility but in my heart I still have a somewhat pragmatic approach. I tend to try and put everything in order. I love checklists and seeing my progress by looking at what I have done. In seminary, my grades (wrongfully so) became the indicator to me that I was doing the right thing. I was so focused on “doing”, that I lost track of “being.”
Perhaps the greatest test of my patience and my willingness to submit to the will of God has involved my house. God willing, I will close on the sale of my house in two days. Anyone who knows me well knows what an enormous amount of stress this has been for me. I never doubted that in the end God’s will would be done. The part that I struggled with is that it wasn’t happening on my time table. At one point I received an offer on my house and I was tempted to take it. I struggled for a couple of days before finally discerning that it was not the right time. My house was on the market for fifteen months (almost ten months with lots of showings but no offer) and only sold when I resolved myself to accept God’s will and pray for his assistance. It is somewhat ridiculous that it took me that long to realize it.
There are other parts of my life where I tend to want things done on my timetable. I want to see conversion in people sooner. I want to know that my words to them and the love I show them have an effect. I want to see the effects of my actions. I even came up with a name for this type of behavior “Boomerang ministry.” Most of us can remember playing with a boomerang at some point in our life. We throw it out knowing that it is designed to come back to us. I don’t know about you but I was never successful in having it come back to me. I was quite happy to conclude that there was something wrong with the boomerang. I was unwilling to admit that it took practice, technique, and letting go of unrealistic expectations before I would ever have the boomerang come back.
I bring all of this up because I think the same thing applies to our spiritual lives and our paths to holiness. I get quite frustrated at times when I find myself battling the same sins, the same temptations, or simply having a bad attitude. I want to be holy and I and want it now! I get frustrated when I feel like I don’t have the prayer life that I think I should have or the one that I want. I get frustrated when I feel like I have not made the progress in my path to holiness that I should.
Obviously, I need a good dose of humility. I need to submit myself to the “crock pot” style that is seminary formation. And I need to remember the words of this past Sunday’s gospel and learn to go away to quiet places to pray and rest. Next Sunday’s gospel also has a good message (i.e. multiplication of the loaves). If I bring all that I have, and nothing less) to God and give myself over to him, he will have me recline and then will provide for me in abundance.
No one likes to admit their faults or encounter the areas where we need to grow, but I would like to encourage all of you to join me in this quest to adopt a “cook’em low and cook’em slow attitude.” Let’s not put God on our timetable. I am sure that what he has prepared for us will be worth the wait.
Pax Tecum,
Tom
I was reminded of this saying as I was reading Archbishop Timothy Dolan’s book Priests for the Third Millennium. I have read this book each summer for the past three years. I first read it while I was discerning applying for seminary. Then I read it as I was preparing for my first year in seminary and now I read it again as I prepare to begin my second year.
The fourth chapter of the book talks about the virtue of humility and how it is an essential virtue for a priest to have. Archbishop Dolan, in speaking about priestly formation in particular and growth in holiness in general, mentions that we need to have more of a “crock pot” approach rather than a “microwave” approach. That is, we must realize that we are not in control of our own salvation. We do not grow in holiness by the things that we do. To think that we can merit our own salvation by the things we do and therefore do not need a savior would make us Pelagians. Another trap in our growth in humility is pragmatism. Pragmatism basically involves us priding ourselves on our practicality and getting things done. It is a focus on doing rather than believing.
I must admit that in various situations in my life I have struggled to be humble. Outwardly at times I may display what people see as humility but in my heart I still have a somewhat pragmatic approach. I tend to try and put everything in order. I love checklists and seeing my progress by looking at what I have done. In seminary, my grades (wrongfully so) became the indicator to me that I was doing the right thing. I was so focused on “doing”, that I lost track of “being.”
Perhaps the greatest test of my patience and my willingness to submit to the will of God has involved my house. God willing, I will close on the sale of my house in two days. Anyone who knows me well knows what an enormous amount of stress this has been for me. I never doubted that in the end God’s will would be done. The part that I struggled with is that it wasn’t happening on my time table. At one point I received an offer on my house and I was tempted to take it. I struggled for a couple of days before finally discerning that it was not the right time. My house was on the market for fifteen months (almost ten months with lots of showings but no offer) and only sold when I resolved myself to accept God’s will and pray for his assistance. It is somewhat ridiculous that it took me that long to realize it.
There are other parts of my life where I tend to want things done on my timetable. I want to see conversion in people sooner. I want to know that my words to them and the love I show them have an effect. I want to see the effects of my actions. I even came up with a name for this type of behavior “Boomerang ministry.” Most of us can remember playing with a boomerang at some point in our life. We throw it out knowing that it is designed to come back to us. I don’t know about you but I was never successful in having it come back to me. I was quite happy to conclude that there was something wrong with the boomerang. I was unwilling to admit that it took practice, technique, and letting go of unrealistic expectations before I would ever have the boomerang come back.
I bring all of this up because I think the same thing applies to our spiritual lives and our paths to holiness. I get quite frustrated at times when I find myself battling the same sins, the same temptations, or simply having a bad attitude. I want to be holy and I and want it now! I get frustrated when I feel like I don’t have the prayer life that I think I should have or the one that I want. I get frustrated when I feel like I have not made the progress in my path to holiness that I should.
Obviously, I need a good dose of humility. I need to submit myself to the “crock pot” style that is seminary formation. And I need to remember the words of this past Sunday’s gospel and learn to go away to quiet places to pray and rest. Next Sunday’s gospel also has a good message (i.e. multiplication of the loaves). If I bring all that I have, and nothing less) to God and give myself over to him, he will have me recline and then will provide for me in abundance.
No one likes to admit their faults or encounter the areas where we need to grow, but I would like to encourage all of you to join me in this quest to adopt a “cook’em low and cook’em slow attitude.” Let’s not put God on our timetable. I am sure that what he has prepared for us will be worth the wait.
Pax Tecum,
Tom
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Life at OLG
As I finish up my assignment at Our Lady of Guadalupe in Austin, I want to share some pictures with you to show you where I have spent my summer. This is the first time that I have used my camera this summer. I am not sure why I don't spend more time going out and taking photographs. I really enjoy it. Perhaps I will take some with all the free time that I have at seminary (hah!). Anyway, I hope you enjoy the pics. I only have seventeen (calendar days) here at OLG and am trying to get a few things wrapped up before I go.
This is the stained glass window is in the choir loft. Every weekend during the summer, as the Eucharistic prayer is being said at around 6:45pm, the sun shines through this window and bathes the altar in beautiful reds, violets, and pinks. It is my favorite time of the weekend.
If you don't know what the above picture is showing, run to your nearest Catholic Church and ask the priest like your life depends on it (sorry...had to).
The parish is 102 years old. I am not sure how long the church building itself has been around but it is fairly old.
I hope you enjoy the pics. Keep praying as my house closing is set for 10am on July 23rd.
Pax Tecum,
Tom
Monday, July 13, 2009
Lighter Side of Life
The past couple of times I posted I realized that I spent most of the time reflecting on Scripture. I figured maybe it was time to just let you know what is going on in my life in general.
My time here at Our Lady of Guadalupe in Austin is quickly coming to an end. I have really enjoyed being a part of this parish for the summer. It is a predominantly Hispanic parish and reminds me a lot of the parish I grew up in (Santa Cruz in Buda). It is a little different being the minority for a change. There are many times when I am the only Anglo in the room. Thankfully my Spanish is improving and I can pretty much understand most of the conversations going on around me. I still cannot speak Spanish as well as I would like. I lector at daily mass in Spanish and can read the language with little difficulty. I figure speaking it is not too far away.
This past weekend I went on retreat with the Teen ACTS group. It was a good experience and I am glad I went however it was different from other experiences that I have had on youth retreats. This time I was on the retreat as a seminarian and not as a CORE team member or small group leader. I was able to pop in and out of the talks and take some time to myself as well. I was called on quite a few times to lead times of prayer and am learning to pray on the fly! I got a chance to talk to a few of the teens one-on-one after being asked to do so by the retreat staff. I think that God has given me the gifts to do well in these situations so I was thankful to have them.
This week at the parish I am writing a manual for the Altar Servers at the parish. I also will be serving at two funerals and a wedding in addition to the regular masses this weekend. Tomorrow I am taking my 17 year old nephew over to College Station for the day to show him Texas A&M. He will be a senior in high school this year in Ohio and is still undecided as to what college he wants to attend. Thursday I will be joining my brother seminarians who are still in Austin for the summer for a bbq with our new Vocations Director. Our new Vocations Director is my former spiritual director and confessor when I was in College Station. I look forward to seeing him again.
I will try to keep you informed as to what is going on in my life over the next few months. Before I know it I will be back in Irving to start my second year of seminary. I look forward to spending some time in College Station in August. I hope to see many of you while I am there.
Pax Tecum,
Tom
My time here at Our Lady of Guadalupe in Austin is quickly coming to an end. I have really enjoyed being a part of this parish for the summer. It is a predominantly Hispanic parish and reminds me a lot of the parish I grew up in (Santa Cruz in Buda). It is a little different being the minority for a change. There are many times when I am the only Anglo in the room. Thankfully my Spanish is improving and I can pretty much understand most of the conversations going on around me. I still cannot speak Spanish as well as I would like. I lector at daily mass in Spanish and can read the language with little difficulty. I figure speaking it is not too far away.
This past weekend I went on retreat with the Teen ACTS group. It was a good experience and I am glad I went however it was different from other experiences that I have had on youth retreats. This time I was on the retreat as a seminarian and not as a CORE team member or small group leader. I was able to pop in and out of the talks and take some time to myself as well. I was called on quite a few times to lead times of prayer and am learning to pray on the fly! I got a chance to talk to a few of the teens one-on-one after being asked to do so by the retreat staff. I think that God has given me the gifts to do well in these situations so I was thankful to have them.
This week at the parish I am writing a manual for the Altar Servers at the parish. I also will be serving at two funerals and a wedding in addition to the regular masses this weekend. Tomorrow I am taking my 17 year old nephew over to College Station for the day to show him Texas A&M. He will be a senior in high school this year in Ohio and is still undecided as to what college he wants to attend. Thursday I will be joining my brother seminarians who are still in Austin for the summer for a bbq with our new Vocations Director. Our new Vocations Director is my former spiritual director and confessor when I was in College Station. I look forward to seeing him again.
I will try to keep you informed as to what is going on in my life over the next few months. Before I know it I will be back in Irving to start my second year of seminary. I look forward to spending some time in College Station in August. I hope to see many of you while I am there.
Pax Tecum,
Tom
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Shepherd or Sheep Dog?
During the fourth week of Easter, while at seminary, I found myself paying particular attention to the Mass readings that week. The readings were from the tenth Chapter of the fourth Gospel (John). In this particular image Jesus uses the images of a gate, a gatekeeper, a shepherd, and his sheep to describe his own relationship with the people. In the beginning Jesus says that he himself is the gate and that to gain access to the sheep one must enter through him.
As Jesus uses this imagery to talk about his relationship to his flock he says this about a shepherd, “When he has driven out all his own, he walks ahead of them, and the sheep follow him, because they recognize his voice. But they will not follow a stranger; they will run away from him, because they do not recognize the voice of strangers." (Jn 10:4-5).
I began to think about this verse in terms of discerning my vocation to become a priest. It is pretty clear that a priest is called to live his life as an image of Christ for his people. It is also clear that a bishop is the shepherd for his local flock (diocese). While celebrating the liturgy a bishop will carry what is called a “crozier.” The crozier looks like a long walking stick with a hook at the top of it. The hook is more decorative than functional but there is a great deal of symbolism built into its use. For example, if you watch a bishop preside at liturgy you will notice that when he is holding the crozier he holds it with the hook extending outward or away from him and towards the people. As the shepherd he is responsible for gently pulling the sheep back into the fold when they begin to wander. When anyone else (i.e. seminarian serving with the bishop) holds the crozier it is turned so that the hook faces inward and not toward the people.
The priest, being the local representative of the bishop to his smaller flock (the parish) must then take on the role of the shepherd. It is for this reason that we call him a “pastor” which is Latin for “shepherd.” As it says in the gospel, the priest is to walk out in front of his flock and use his voice to lead the people. It is the priest’s voice that will be used to teach, to preach, to say words that save (“I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit”), the words that absolve (“I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit”), the words that make Jesus present in the Eucharist (“take this all of you….), and the words that console (“Eternal rest grant unto him oh Lord….”). At times it is even necessary that when the sheep stray, the shepherd must use his voice to bring them back into the fold.
I bring this up because as I read the tenth chapter of John I realize that many times in my life I tend to be more of a sheep dog than a shepherd. I tend to bark at people and bite at their ankles (figuratively not literally…work with me here) when I see them straying from the fold. I find this to be especially true when I work with teens. Instead of walking out in front of the flock and leading with my voice, I run around the edges and run after the one or two that stray away. I do all I can to convince them to rejoin the flock. I try to convince them that I know what is best for them and that they should follow the Good Shepherd. Sometimes, the sheep dog method is quite effective and I think, at times, it is even necessary. However, there are other times when I realize that the sheep dog, while effective at keeping the flock together (through a sort of intimidation or convincing), the flock fails to move forward. It is the shepherd who moves his flock because he knows the way and he walks out in front. The sheep follow him because they know his voice and they know that they will lay down their lives for their sheep.
As I prayed about this chapter of the gospel I realized that I did not need to wait until my ordination (God willing) to use my voice like that of the shepherd. I quickly realized that there were times where my words were harsh, short, sarcastic, condescending, and lacking patience. It did not matter what my intentions were in regards to correcting another’s behavior, because I did not say it with charity they rightfully failed to follow my voice. I also reflected on the many times where my voice not only did not bring people back to the flock, it led them in the opposite direction. As I realized the effects that our voices can have on others I prayed that God would help me to choose my words carefully so as to never lead anyone astray.
Verses 14 and 15 also gave me food for thought, “I am the good shepherd, and I know mine and mine know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I will lay down my life for the sheep.” Not only as a pastor one day (Si Dios Quiere – If God Wills), but now as a son, a friend, and a brother, I want the people around me to know me. I want to be transparent. I want to be a man who believes what he reads (the Gospel), teaches what he believes, and practices what he teaches. I want my flock (friends, family, and brother seminarians) to know that I would lay down my life for them. I don’t meant this in the sense of how I used to be willing to lay down my life (as a police officer) but in the sense that I will make the appropriate sacrifices to help people find, meet, and follow Christ the Good Shepherd.
It is not always an easy thing to do but I do thing that it is what God intends for my life. In fact, I think God is calling all of us to be shepherds rather than sheep dogs. Whether you are a husband, father, wife, mother, brother, or sister, I believe that God is calling all of us to live our lives in such a way that we walk out in front of the flock. I believe that each of us must use our voice in a way that the people around us will follow us instead of run in the opposite directions. I understand the temptation (especially for parents) to be a sheepdog more often than a shepherd but that is certainly not the image Jesus chose to give us. Of course, we cannot all be shepherds all of the time. We must also be willing to be the sheep and be led.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts once again. Some of you may think I am wrong or over analyzing. Perhaps you are right. However, it less important to me that you think I am right as it is to get you to think about how the Gospel applies to our lives here and now.
Pax Tecum,
Tom
As Jesus uses this imagery to talk about his relationship to his flock he says this about a shepherd, “When he has driven out all his own, he walks ahead of them, and the sheep follow him, because they recognize his voice. But they will not follow a stranger; they will run away from him, because they do not recognize the voice of strangers." (Jn 10:4-5).
I began to think about this verse in terms of discerning my vocation to become a priest. It is pretty clear that a priest is called to live his life as an image of Christ for his people. It is also clear that a bishop is the shepherd for his local flock (diocese). While celebrating the liturgy a bishop will carry what is called a “crozier.” The crozier looks like a long walking stick with a hook at the top of it. The hook is more decorative than functional but there is a great deal of symbolism built into its use. For example, if you watch a bishop preside at liturgy you will notice that when he is holding the crozier he holds it with the hook extending outward or away from him and towards the people. As the shepherd he is responsible for gently pulling the sheep back into the fold when they begin to wander. When anyone else (i.e. seminarian serving with the bishop) holds the crozier it is turned so that the hook faces inward and not toward the people.
The priest, being the local representative of the bishop to his smaller flock (the parish) must then take on the role of the shepherd. It is for this reason that we call him a “pastor” which is Latin for “shepherd.” As it says in the gospel, the priest is to walk out in front of his flock and use his voice to lead the people. It is the priest’s voice that will be used to teach, to preach, to say words that save (“I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit”), the words that absolve (“I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit”), the words that make Jesus present in the Eucharist (“take this all of you….), and the words that console (“Eternal rest grant unto him oh Lord….”). At times it is even necessary that when the sheep stray, the shepherd must use his voice to bring them back into the fold.
I bring this up because as I read the tenth chapter of John I realize that many times in my life I tend to be more of a sheep dog than a shepherd. I tend to bark at people and bite at their ankles (figuratively not literally…work with me here) when I see them straying from the fold. I find this to be especially true when I work with teens. Instead of walking out in front of the flock and leading with my voice, I run around the edges and run after the one or two that stray away. I do all I can to convince them to rejoin the flock. I try to convince them that I know what is best for them and that they should follow the Good Shepherd. Sometimes, the sheep dog method is quite effective and I think, at times, it is even necessary. However, there are other times when I realize that the sheep dog, while effective at keeping the flock together (through a sort of intimidation or convincing), the flock fails to move forward. It is the shepherd who moves his flock because he knows the way and he walks out in front. The sheep follow him because they know his voice and they know that they will lay down their lives for their sheep.
As I prayed about this chapter of the gospel I realized that I did not need to wait until my ordination (God willing) to use my voice like that of the shepherd. I quickly realized that there were times where my words were harsh, short, sarcastic, condescending, and lacking patience. It did not matter what my intentions were in regards to correcting another’s behavior, because I did not say it with charity they rightfully failed to follow my voice. I also reflected on the many times where my voice not only did not bring people back to the flock, it led them in the opposite direction. As I realized the effects that our voices can have on others I prayed that God would help me to choose my words carefully so as to never lead anyone astray.
Verses 14 and 15 also gave me food for thought, “I am the good shepherd, and I know mine and mine know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I will lay down my life for the sheep.” Not only as a pastor one day (Si Dios Quiere – If God Wills), but now as a son, a friend, and a brother, I want the people around me to know me. I want to be transparent. I want to be a man who believes what he reads (the Gospel), teaches what he believes, and practices what he teaches. I want my flock (friends, family, and brother seminarians) to know that I would lay down my life for them. I don’t meant this in the sense of how I used to be willing to lay down my life (as a police officer) but in the sense that I will make the appropriate sacrifices to help people find, meet, and follow Christ the Good Shepherd.
It is not always an easy thing to do but I do thing that it is what God intends for my life. In fact, I think God is calling all of us to be shepherds rather than sheep dogs. Whether you are a husband, father, wife, mother, brother, or sister, I believe that God is calling all of us to live our lives in such a way that we walk out in front of the flock. I believe that each of us must use our voice in a way that the people around us will follow us instead of run in the opposite directions. I understand the temptation (especially for parents) to be a sheepdog more often than a shepherd but that is certainly not the image Jesus chose to give us. Of course, we cannot all be shepherds all of the time. We must also be willing to be the sheep and be led.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts once again. Some of you may think I am wrong or over analyzing. Perhaps you are right. However, it less important to me that you think I am right as it is to get you to think about how the Gospel applies to our lives here and now.
Pax Tecum,
Tom
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Prayer Requests
Hello all! Many times I have asked those of you who read the blog to send me prayer requests so that I can join my prayers to yours. This time it is me who is asking you to pray for some special intentions.
First of all I would like you to pray for my step-sister who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Her mother passed away from breast cancer 7-8 years ago. I don't have any other information but please keep her, her father (my step-father), and her family in your prayers.
Secondly, please pray for my Uncle who suffered a heart attack earlier in the week. They got to the hospital quickly and discovered he had 100% blockage. Thankfully they were able to put in a stint and he should recover nicely. I am pretty sure that he has already been released from the hospital.
Also, I will ask you to pray for the teens from Our Lady of Guadalupe in Austin who will be on retreat this weekend. Pray that they are able to hear God calling them each by name. Please pray for the staff, the young adult leaders, and all who are working to make this retreat happen.
Finally, please continue to keep the sale of my house on your prayer list. As of now, I am scheduled to close on July 23rd and all is going well so far. It will be a tremendous blessing to start my second year of seminary without this distraction.
Having said all that, I will be going on the retreat with the teens. We leave tomorrow and will return for Mass on Sunday at 11:30am. I am expecting my godson and his family to come into town for a visit Sunday afternoon so it will be a busy weekend. I only have about four weeks left here at Our Lady of Guadalupe and there is still lots to do.
Please know that I continue to pray for you all and your families but feel free to send me any special prayer requests (even if you just say, "please pray for a special intention"). I don't need the details unless you feel like sharing them.
I want to leave you with one more snipit from Pope Benedict's Encyclical. I continue to work my way through it although I must admit most of it is over my head:
"The conviction that man is self-sufficient and can successfully eliminate the evil present in history by his own action alone has led him to confuse happiness and salvation with immanent forms of material prosperity and social action."
Pax Tecum,
Tom
First of all I would like you to pray for my step-sister who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Her mother passed away from breast cancer 7-8 years ago. I don't have any other information but please keep her, her father (my step-father), and her family in your prayers.
Secondly, please pray for my Uncle who suffered a heart attack earlier in the week. They got to the hospital quickly and discovered he had 100% blockage. Thankfully they were able to put in a stint and he should recover nicely. I am pretty sure that he has already been released from the hospital.
Also, I will ask you to pray for the teens from Our Lady of Guadalupe in Austin who will be on retreat this weekend. Pray that they are able to hear God calling them each by name. Please pray for the staff, the young adult leaders, and all who are working to make this retreat happen.
Finally, please continue to keep the sale of my house on your prayer list. As of now, I am scheduled to close on July 23rd and all is going well so far. It will be a tremendous blessing to start my second year of seminary without this distraction.
Having said all that, I will be going on the retreat with the teens. We leave tomorrow and will return for Mass on Sunday at 11:30am. I am expecting my godson and his family to come into town for a visit Sunday afternoon so it will be a busy weekend. I only have about four weeks left here at Our Lady of Guadalupe and there is still lots to do.
Please know that I continue to pray for you all and your families but feel free to send me any special prayer requests (even if you just say, "please pray for a special intention"). I don't need the details unless you feel like sharing them.
I want to leave you with one more snipit from Pope Benedict's Encyclical. I continue to work my way through it although I must admit most of it is over my head:
"The conviction that man is self-sufficient and can successfully eliminate the evil present in history by his own action alone has led him to confuse happiness and salvation with immanent forms of material prosperity and social action."
Pax Tecum,
Tom
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Caritas in Veritate...my thoughts
Pope Benedict XVI released his third encyclical today. This one is titled Caritas in Veritate or Charity in Truth. I have only read the first two chapters but just wanted to share some of the lines that stood out to me:
“Man's earthly activity, when inspired and sustained by charity, contributes to the building of the universal city of God, which is the goal of the history of the human family.”
“Only through an encounter with God are we able to see in the other something more than just another creature, to recognize the divine image in the other, thus truly coming to discover him or her and to mature in a love that “becomes concern and care for the other.””
“Precisely because God gives a resounding “yes” to man, man cannot fail to open himself to the divine vocation to pursue his own development. The truth of development consists in its completeness: if it does not involve the whole man and every man, it is not true development.”
“Reason, by itself, is capable of grasping the equality between men and of giving stability to their civic coexistence, but it cannot establish fraternity. This originates in a transcendent vocation from God the Father, who loved us first, teaching us through the Son what fraternal charity is.”
“I would like to remind everyone, especially governments engaged in boosting the world's economic and social assets, that the primary capital to be safeguarded and valued is man, the human person in his or her integrity: “Man is the source, the focus and the aim of all economic and social life””
“God is the guarantor of man's true development, inasmuch as, having created him in his image, he also establishes the transcendent dignity of men and women and feeds their innate yearning to “be more”.”
I think the following is my favorite so far:
“Deeds without knowledge are blind, and knowledge without love is sterile.”
Pax Tecum,
Tom
“Man's earthly activity, when inspired and sustained by charity, contributes to the building of the universal city of God, which is the goal of the history of the human family.”
“Only through an encounter with God are we able to see in the other something more than just another creature, to recognize the divine image in the other, thus truly coming to discover him or her and to mature in a love that “becomes concern and care for the other.””
“Precisely because God gives a resounding “yes” to man, man cannot fail to open himself to the divine vocation to pursue his own development. The truth of development consists in its completeness: if it does not involve the whole man and every man, it is not true development.”
“Reason, by itself, is capable of grasping the equality between men and of giving stability to their civic coexistence, but it cannot establish fraternity. This originates in a transcendent vocation from God the Father, who loved us first, teaching us through the Son what fraternal charity is.”
“I would like to remind everyone, especially governments engaged in boosting the world's economic and social assets, that the primary capital to be safeguarded and valued is man, the human person in his or her integrity: “Man is the source, the focus and the aim of all economic and social life””
“God is the guarantor of man's true development, inasmuch as, having created him in his image, he also establishes the transcendent dignity of men and women and feeds their innate yearning to “be more”.”
I think the following is my favorite so far:
“Deeds without knowledge are blind, and knowledge without love is sterile.”
Pax Tecum,
Tom
Monday, July 6, 2009
Let Freedom Ring…
Over the course of the past weekend, many people across America gathered with their friends, families, co-workers, etc. to celebrate the anniversary of the United States’ independence from Great Britain. Despite the oppressive heat in Texas, many people decided to have parades, barbecues, fireworks displays, and pool parties. Everyone dressed up in red, white, and blue and showed their patriotism.
I think the Fourth of July is one of those holidays that lost some of its meaning over the years. Don’t get me wrong, some people truly celebrate our freedom but many are more concerned with the three or four day weekend and the festivities that follow. The news programs will often run stories about our brave men and women who continue to fight in order to protect our freedom. I am thankful for those men and women and believe their sacrifices should be honored. As I spent my weekend with friends relaxing, enjoying creature comforts, and enjoying the freedom that has been given to me, I began to think to myself, “What does it mean to be free and what is true freedom?”
Initially when I think about the answer to those questions, the words to the Rolling Stones song, “I’m free to do what I want, any old time,” (shame on you if you didn’t just sing that to yourself) or Dr. Martin Luther King’s words, “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, we are free at last.” Certainly I think that Dr. King had a more appropriate definition of the word freedom. I think one of the difficulties that many of us face is thinking that freedom means to choose what we want whenever we want it. This definition of freedom has led to a battle of another kind, a battle against relativism. We now live in a world where a large number of people believe that they are free only if there is no one around telling them what to do. They rebel against their parents, their teachers, the government, the law, the Church, and even God.
Most of us who are past the age of adolescence know the struggle of living under our parents’ roof. As we grew older we started to think that we knew what was best for us and thought that we should be allowed to make our own decisions. Things such as curfews, phone restrictions, bedtimes, and other rules were seen as being unjustified oppression by our parents. We were often told that the rules were for our own good but that was always a hard pill for me to swallow.
When I went to college I was free to make a lot more decisions than I previously was able to. Sometimes I made decisions based on what my parents had taught me. Other times I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Can you guess which decision making process worked the best for me? After college I worked for a police department. Those of you that do work for or have worked for a police department have certainly encountered the beloved policy manual. We always heard the expression that the policies were more guidelines than rules, although we quickly learned the difference between “may” and “shall.” To a young officer, the policies seemed stifling. They seemed to be written by people who were determined to make sure that everything was done the hard way and no enjoyment whatsoever should come from following then. At times they seemed to be as restrictive as my vest or shirt stays. It took a while to appreciate that by staying within policy at all times, I was actually freer to do my job in a way that was safe, effective, and, at times, fun.
And then there are those little rules called Natural Law and the Ten Commandments. There is that long list of things that Scripture and Sacred Tradition tell me are not good for me. Thankfully we do not have the 613 laws of the Mosaic covenant to live by. In fact, when ten seemed to be too many to the minimalist who asked Jesus which of the commandments was the most important, Jesus summarized them into two rules. And yet, many people see the way of life that stems from following these two rules as restricting and oppressive. In the name of freedom they make comments like, “The Church needs to stay out of my life and out of my bedroom,” “the church should not tell me how to raise my children,” or “who is the Church to tell me how to live my life?”
My parents, my supervisors at the police department, and even the church have told me my entire life that these rules are put into place for my own good. I have heard the phrase that freedom comes from obedience. As I get older, this makes more and more sense to me. Most of us have heard that through one man’s disobedience sin entered the world and through one man’s obedience we became free or through one woman’s disobedience we separated ourselves from God and through one woman’s “fiat” we were given the gift of the Son of God so that we might be brought back into communion with God. Even Pope John Paul II condemned (indirectly) the Rolling Stones definition of freedom when he said that Freedom is being able to choose the things that are good for us. In more philosophical terms, freedom is being able to choose what we are naturally ordered to do. As humans, we are ordered to be in full communion with God. That is the goal of life. The goal is not to get the most pleasure out of this life while we can. Instead it is to live our lives in obedience to the ways of God so that we can become more like him and one day be reunited with him in heaven. Through our obedience to God we become free to choose the things that are best for us. In doing what is best for us, we will discover happiness.
So I wonder, am I really free? It seems at times that my concupiscence and my own desires keep me from choosing the things that are best from me. My pride prevents me from being obedient at all times. There seems to be a battle for my freedom that is fought much closer to home. These are the battles that most of us fight everyday in our hearts. It seems to me that we should celebrate the victories when they occur. Perhaps we don’t need a holiday, or floats, or a particular color to mark the occasion. For me, the celebration occurs at the altar, in the Eucharist, where the war has already been won.
Pax Tecum,
Tom
PS. I know this entry is a little scatter brained. I have been mulling over these thoughts for several days and sometimes if I don’t write them down immediately they get jumbled and don’t come out as well. I offer them as an insight into what I am thinking. They are not meant as any sort of spiritual advice or preaching. I speak with no authority other than as a man who is trying to figure things out and doesn’t mind sharing his progress.
I think the Fourth of July is one of those holidays that lost some of its meaning over the years. Don’t get me wrong, some people truly celebrate our freedom but many are more concerned with the three or four day weekend and the festivities that follow. The news programs will often run stories about our brave men and women who continue to fight in order to protect our freedom. I am thankful for those men and women and believe their sacrifices should be honored. As I spent my weekend with friends relaxing, enjoying creature comforts, and enjoying the freedom that has been given to me, I began to think to myself, “What does it mean to be free and what is true freedom?”
Initially when I think about the answer to those questions, the words to the Rolling Stones song, “I’m free to do what I want, any old time,” (shame on you if you didn’t just sing that to yourself) or Dr. Martin Luther King’s words, “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, we are free at last.” Certainly I think that Dr. King had a more appropriate definition of the word freedom. I think one of the difficulties that many of us face is thinking that freedom means to choose what we want whenever we want it. This definition of freedom has led to a battle of another kind, a battle against relativism. We now live in a world where a large number of people believe that they are free only if there is no one around telling them what to do. They rebel against their parents, their teachers, the government, the law, the Church, and even God.
Most of us who are past the age of adolescence know the struggle of living under our parents’ roof. As we grew older we started to think that we knew what was best for us and thought that we should be allowed to make our own decisions. Things such as curfews, phone restrictions, bedtimes, and other rules were seen as being unjustified oppression by our parents. We were often told that the rules were for our own good but that was always a hard pill for me to swallow.
When I went to college I was free to make a lot more decisions than I previously was able to. Sometimes I made decisions based on what my parents had taught me. Other times I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Can you guess which decision making process worked the best for me? After college I worked for a police department. Those of you that do work for or have worked for a police department have certainly encountered the beloved policy manual. We always heard the expression that the policies were more guidelines than rules, although we quickly learned the difference between “may” and “shall.” To a young officer, the policies seemed stifling. They seemed to be written by people who were determined to make sure that everything was done the hard way and no enjoyment whatsoever should come from following then. At times they seemed to be as restrictive as my vest or shirt stays. It took a while to appreciate that by staying within policy at all times, I was actually freer to do my job in a way that was safe, effective, and, at times, fun.
And then there are those little rules called Natural Law and the Ten Commandments. There is that long list of things that Scripture and Sacred Tradition tell me are not good for me. Thankfully we do not have the 613 laws of the Mosaic covenant to live by. In fact, when ten seemed to be too many to the minimalist who asked Jesus which of the commandments was the most important, Jesus summarized them into two rules. And yet, many people see the way of life that stems from following these two rules as restricting and oppressive. In the name of freedom they make comments like, “The Church needs to stay out of my life and out of my bedroom,” “the church should not tell me how to raise my children,” or “who is the Church to tell me how to live my life?”
My parents, my supervisors at the police department, and even the church have told me my entire life that these rules are put into place for my own good. I have heard the phrase that freedom comes from obedience. As I get older, this makes more and more sense to me. Most of us have heard that through one man’s disobedience sin entered the world and through one man’s obedience we became free or through one woman’s disobedience we separated ourselves from God and through one woman’s “fiat” we were given the gift of the Son of God so that we might be brought back into communion with God. Even Pope John Paul II condemned (indirectly) the Rolling Stones definition of freedom when he said that Freedom is being able to choose the things that are good for us. In more philosophical terms, freedom is being able to choose what we are naturally ordered to do. As humans, we are ordered to be in full communion with God. That is the goal of life. The goal is not to get the most pleasure out of this life while we can. Instead it is to live our lives in obedience to the ways of God so that we can become more like him and one day be reunited with him in heaven. Through our obedience to God we become free to choose the things that are best for us. In doing what is best for us, we will discover happiness.
So I wonder, am I really free? It seems at times that my concupiscence and my own desires keep me from choosing the things that are best from me. My pride prevents me from being obedient at all times. There seems to be a battle for my freedom that is fought much closer to home. These are the battles that most of us fight everyday in our hearts. It seems to me that we should celebrate the victories when they occur. Perhaps we don’t need a holiday, or floats, or a particular color to mark the occasion. For me, the celebration occurs at the altar, in the Eucharist, where the war has already been won.
Pax Tecum,
Tom
PS. I know this entry is a little scatter brained. I have been mulling over these thoughts for several days and sometimes if I don’t write them down immediately they get jumbled and don’t come out as well. I offer them as an insight into what I am thinking. They are not meant as any sort of spiritual advice or preaching. I speak with no authority other than as a man who is trying to figure things out and doesn’t mind sharing his progress.
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