During the fourth week of Easter, while at seminary, I found myself paying particular attention to the Mass readings that week. The readings were from the tenth Chapter of the fourth Gospel (John). In this particular image Jesus uses the images of a gate, a gatekeeper, a shepherd, and his sheep to describe his own relationship with the people. In the beginning Jesus says that he himself is the gate and that to gain access to the sheep one must enter through him.
As Jesus uses this imagery to talk about his relationship to his flock he says this about a shepherd, “When he has driven out all his own, he walks ahead of them, and the sheep follow him, because they recognize his voice. But they will not follow a stranger; they will run away from him, because they do not recognize the voice of strangers." (Jn 10:4-5).
I began to think about this verse in terms of discerning my vocation to become a priest. It is pretty clear that a priest is called to live his life as an image of Christ for his people. It is also clear that a bishop is the shepherd for his local flock (diocese). While celebrating the liturgy a bishop will carry what is called a “crozier.” The crozier looks like a long walking stick with a hook at the top of it. The hook is more decorative than functional but there is a great deal of symbolism built into its use. For example, if you watch a bishop preside at liturgy you will notice that when he is holding the crozier he holds it with the hook extending outward or away from him and towards the people. As the shepherd he is responsible for gently pulling the sheep back into the fold when they begin to wander. When anyone else (i.e. seminarian serving with the bishop) holds the crozier it is turned so that the hook faces inward and not toward the people.
The priest, being the local representative of the bishop to his smaller flock (the parish) must then take on the role of the shepherd. It is for this reason that we call him a “pastor” which is Latin for “shepherd.” As it says in the gospel, the priest is to walk out in front of his flock and use his voice to lead the people. It is the priest’s voice that will be used to teach, to preach, to say words that save (“I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit”), the words that absolve (“I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit”), the words that make Jesus present in the Eucharist (“take this all of you….), and the words that console (“Eternal rest grant unto him oh Lord….”). At times it is even necessary that when the sheep stray, the shepherd must use his voice to bring them back into the fold.
I bring this up because as I read the tenth chapter of John I realize that many times in my life I tend to be more of a sheep dog than a shepherd. I tend to bark at people and bite at their ankles (figuratively not literally…work with me here) when I see them straying from the fold. I find this to be especially true when I work with teens. Instead of walking out in front of the flock and leading with my voice, I run around the edges and run after the one or two that stray away. I do all I can to convince them to rejoin the flock. I try to convince them that I know what is best for them and that they should follow the Good Shepherd. Sometimes, the sheep dog method is quite effective and I think, at times, it is even necessary. However, there are other times when I realize that the sheep dog, while effective at keeping the flock together (through a sort of intimidation or convincing), the flock fails to move forward. It is the shepherd who moves his flock because he knows the way and he walks out in front. The sheep follow him because they know his voice and they know that they will lay down their lives for their sheep.
As I prayed about this chapter of the gospel I realized that I did not need to wait until my ordination (God willing) to use my voice like that of the shepherd. I quickly realized that there were times where my words were harsh, short, sarcastic, condescending, and lacking patience. It did not matter what my intentions were in regards to correcting another’s behavior, because I did not say it with charity they rightfully failed to follow my voice. I also reflected on the many times where my voice not only did not bring people back to the flock, it led them in the opposite direction. As I realized the effects that our voices can have on others I prayed that God would help me to choose my words carefully so as to never lead anyone astray.
Verses 14 and 15 also gave me food for thought, “I am the good shepherd, and I know mine and mine know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I will lay down my life for the sheep.” Not only as a pastor one day (Si Dios Quiere – If God Wills), but now as a son, a friend, and a brother, I want the people around me to know me. I want to be transparent. I want to be a man who believes what he reads (the Gospel), teaches what he believes, and practices what he teaches. I want my flock (friends, family, and brother seminarians) to know that I would lay down my life for them. I don’t meant this in the sense of how I used to be willing to lay down my life (as a police officer) but in the sense that I will make the appropriate sacrifices to help people find, meet, and follow Christ the Good Shepherd.
It is not always an easy thing to do but I do thing that it is what God intends for my life. In fact, I think God is calling all of us to be shepherds rather than sheep dogs. Whether you are a husband, father, wife, mother, brother, or sister, I believe that God is calling all of us to live our lives in such a way that we walk out in front of the flock. I believe that each of us must use our voice in a way that the people around us will follow us instead of run in the opposite directions. I understand the temptation (especially for parents) to be a sheepdog more often than a shepherd but that is certainly not the image Jesus chose to give us. Of course, we cannot all be shepherds all of the time. We must also be willing to be the sheep and be led.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts once again. Some of you may think I am wrong or over analyzing. Perhaps you are right. However, it less important to me that you think I am right as it is to get you to think about how the Gospel applies to our lives here and now.
Pax Tecum,
Tom
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Prayer Requests
Hello all! Many times I have asked those of you who read the blog to send me prayer requests so that I can join my prayers to yours. This time it is me who is asking you to pray for some special intentions.
First of all I would like you to pray for my step-sister who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Her mother passed away from breast cancer 7-8 years ago. I don't have any other information but please keep her, her father (my step-father), and her family in your prayers.
Secondly, please pray for my Uncle who suffered a heart attack earlier in the week. They got to the hospital quickly and discovered he had 100% blockage. Thankfully they were able to put in a stint and he should recover nicely. I am pretty sure that he has already been released from the hospital.
Also, I will ask you to pray for the teens from Our Lady of Guadalupe in Austin who will be on retreat this weekend. Pray that they are able to hear God calling them each by name. Please pray for the staff, the young adult leaders, and all who are working to make this retreat happen.
Finally, please continue to keep the sale of my house on your prayer list. As of now, I am scheduled to close on July 23rd and all is going well so far. It will be a tremendous blessing to start my second year of seminary without this distraction.
Having said all that, I will be going on the retreat with the teens. We leave tomorrow and will return for Mass on Sunday at 11:30am. I am expecting my godson and his family to come into town for a visit Sunday afternoon so it will be a busy weekend. I only have about four weeks left here at Our Lady of Guadalupe and there is still lots to do.
Please know that I continue to pray for you all and your families but feel free to send me any special prayer requests (even if you just say, "please pray for a special intention"). I don't need the details unless you feel like sharing them.
I want to leave you with one more snipit from Pope Benedict's Encyclical. I continue to work my way through it although I must admit most of it is over my head:
"The conviction that man is self-sufficient and can successfully eliminate the evil present in history by his own action alone has led him to confuse happiness and salvation with immanent forms of material prosperity and social action."
Pax Tecum,
Tom
First of all I would like you to pray for my step-sister who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Her mother passed away from breast cancer 7-8 years ago. I don't have any other information but please keep her, her father (my step-father), and her family in your prayers.
Secondly, please pray for my Uncle who suffered a heart attack earlier in the week. They got to the hospital quickly and discovered he had 100% blockage. Thankfully they were able to put in a stint and he should recover nicely. I am pretty sure that he has already been released from the hospital.
Also, I will ask you to pray for the teens from Our Lady of Guadalupe in Austin who will be on retreat this weekend. Pray that they are able to hear God calling them each by name. Please pray for the staff, the young adult leaders, and all who are working to make this retreat happen.
Finally, please continue to keep the sale of my house on your prayer list. As of now, I am scheduled to close on July 23rd and all is going well so far. It will be a tremendous blessing to start my second year of seminary without this distraction.
Having said all that, I will be going on the retreat with the teens. We leave tomorrow and will return for Mass on Sunday at 11:30am. I am expecting my godson and his family to come into town for a visit Sunday afternoon so it will be a busy weekend. I only have about four weeks left here at Our Lady of Guadalupe and there is still lots to do.
Please know that I continue to pray for you all and your families but feel free to send me any special prayer requests (even if you just say, "please pray for a special intention"). I don't need the details unless you feel like sharing them.
I want to leave you with one more snipit from Pope Benedict's Encyclical. I continue to work my way through it although I must admit most of it is over my head:
"The conviction that man is self-sufficient and can successfully eliminate the evil present in history by his own action alone has led him to confuse happiness and salvation with immanent forms of material prosperity and social action."
Pax Tecum,
Tom
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Caritas in Veritate...my thoughts
Pope Benedict XVI released his third encyclical today. This one is titled Caritas in Veritate or Charity in Truth. I have only read the first two chapters but just wanted to share some of the lines that stood out to me:
“Man's earthly activity, when inspired and sustained by charity, contributes to the building of the universal city of God, which is the goal of the history of the human family.”
“Only through an encounter with God are we able to see in the other something more than just another creature, to recognize the divine image in the other, thus truly coming to discover him or her and to mature in a love that “becomes concern and care for the other.””
“Precisely because God gives a resounding “yes” to man, man cannot fail to open himself to the divine vocation to pursue his own development. The truth of development consists in its completeness: if it does not involve the whole man and every man, it is not true development.”
“Reason, by itself, is capable of grasping the equality between men and of giving stability to their civic coexistence, but it cannot establish fraternity. This originates in a transcendent vocation from God the Father, who loved us first, teaching us through the Son what fraternal charity is.”
“I would like to remind everyone, especially governments engaged in boosting the world's economic and social assets, that the primary capital to be safeguarded and valued is man, the human person in his or her integrity: “Man is the source, the focus and the aim of all economic and social life””
“God is the guarantor of man's true development, inasmuch as, having created him in his image, he also establishes the transcendent dignity of men and women and feeds their innate yearning to “be more”.”
I think the following is my favorite so far:
“Deeds without knowledge are blind, and knowledge without love is sterile.”
Pax Tecum,
Tom
“Man's earthly activity, when inspired and sustained by charity, contributes to the building of the universal city of God, which is the goal of the history of the human family.”
“Only through an encounter with God are we able to see in the other something more than just another creature, to recognize the divine image in the other, thus truly coming to discover him or her and to mature in a love that “becomes concern and care for the other.””
“Precisely because God gives a resounding “yes” to man, man cannot fail to open himself to the divine vocation to pursue his own development. The truth of development consists in its completeness: if it does not involve the whole man and every man, it is not true development.”
“Reason, by itself, is capable of grasping the equality between men and of giving stability to their civic coexistence, but it cannot establish fraternity. This originates in a transcendent vocation from God the Father, who loved us first, teaching us through the Son what fraternal charity is.”
“I would like to remind everyone, especially governments engaged in boosting the world's economic and social assets, that the primary capital to be safeguarded and valued is man, the human person in his or her integrity: “Man is the source, the focus and the aim of all economic and social life””
“God is the guarantor of man's true development, inasmuch as, having created him in his image, he also establishes the transcendent dignity of men and women and feeds their innate yearning to “be more”.”
I think the following is my favorite so far:
“Deeds without knowledge are blind, and knowledge without love is sterile.”
Pax Tecum,
Tom
Monday, July 6, 2009
Let Freedom Ring…
Over the course of the past weekend, many people across America gathered with their friends, families, co-workers, etc. to celebrate the anniversary of the United States’ independence from Great Britain. Despite the oppressive heat in Texas, many people decided to have parades, barbecues, fireworks displays, and pool parties. Everyone dressed up in red, white, and blue and showed their patriotism.
I think the Fourth of July is one of those holidays that lost some of its meaning over the years. Don’t get me wrong, some people truly celebrate our freedom but many are more concerned with the three or four day weekend and the festivities that follow. The news programs will often run stories about our brave men and women who continue to fight in order to protect our freedom. I am thankful for those men and women and believe their sacrifices should be honored. As I spent my weekend with friends relaxing, enjoying creature comforts, and enjoying the freedom that has been given to me, I began to think to myself, “What does it mean to be free and what is true freedom?”
Initially when I think about the answer to those questions, the words to the Rolling Stones song, “I’m free to do what I want, any old time,” (shame on you if you didn’t just sing that to yourself) or Dr. Martin Luther King’s words, “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, we are free at last.” Certainly I think that Dr. King had a more appropriate definition of the word freedom. I think one of the difficulties that many of us face is thinking that freedom means to choose what we want whenever we want it. This definition of freedom has led to a battle of another kind, a battle against relativism. We now live in a world where a large number of people believe that they are free only if there is no one around telling them what to do. They rebel against their parents, their teachers, the government, the law, the Church, and even God.
Most of us who are past the age of adolescence know the struggle of living under our parents’ roof. As we grew older we started to think that we knew what was best for us and thought that we should be allowed to make our own decisions. Things such as curfews, phone restrictions, bedtimes, and other rules were seen as being unjustified oppression by our parents. We were often told that the rules were for our own good but that was always a hard pill for me to swallow.
When I went to college I was free to make a lot more decisions than I previously was able to. Sometimes I made decisions based on what my parents had taught me. Other times I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Can you guess which decision making process worked the best for me? After college I worked for a police department. Those of you that do work for or have worked for a police department have certainly encountered the beloved policy manual. We always heard the expression that the policies were more guidelines than rules, although we quickly learned the difference between “may” and “shall.” To a young officer, the policies seemed stifling. They seemed to be written by people who were determined to make sure that everything was done the hard way and no enjoyment whatsoever should come from following then. At times they seemed to be as restrictive as my vest or shirt stays. It took a while to appreciate that by staying within policy at all times, I was actually freer to do my job in a way that was safe, effective, and, at times, fun.
And then there are those little rules called Natural Law and the Ten Commandments. There is that long list of things that Scripture and Sacred Tradition tell me are not good for me. Thankfully we do not have the 613 laws of the Mosaic covenant to live by. In fact, when ten seemed to be too many to the minimalist who asked Jesus which of the commandments was the most important, Jesus summarized them into two rules. And yet, many people see the way of life that stems from following these two rules as restricting and oppressive. In the name of freedom they make comments like, “The Church needs to stay out of my life and out of my bedroom,” “the church should not tell me how to raise my children,” or “who is the Church to tell me how to live my life?”
My parents, my supervisors at the police department, and even the church have told me my entire life that these rules are put into place for my own good. I have heard the phrase that freedom comes from obedience. As I get older, this makes more and more sense to me. Most of us have heard that through one man’s disobedience sin entered the world and through one man’s obedience we became free or through one woman’s disobedience we separated ourselves from God and through one woman’s “fiat” we were given the gift of the Son of God so that we might be brought back into communion with God. Even Pope John Paul II condemned (indirectly) the Rolling Stones definition of freedom when he said that Freedom is being able to choose the things that are good for us. In more philosophical terms, freedom is being able to choose what we are naturally ordered to do. As humans, we are ordered to be in full communion with God. That is the goal of life. The goal is not to get the most pleasure out of this life while we can. Instead it is to live our lives in obedience to the ways of God so that we can become more like him and one day be reunited with him in heaven. Through our obedience to God we become free to choose the things that are best for us. In doing what is best for us, we will discover happiness.
So I wonder, am I really free? It seems at times that my concupiscence and my own desires keep me from choosing the things that are best from me. My pride prevents me from being obedient at all times. There seems to be a battle for my freedom that is fought much closer to home. These are the battles that most of us fight everyday in our hearts. It seems to me that we should celebrate the victories when they occur. Perhaps we don’t need a holiday, or floats, or a particular color to mark the occasion. For me, the celebration occurs at the altar, in the Eucharist, where the war has already been won.
Pax Tecum,
Tom
PS. I know this entry is a little scatter brained. I have been mulling over these thoughts for several days and sometimes if I don’t write them down immediately they get jumbled and don’t come out as well. I offer them as an insight into what I am thinking. They are not meant as any sort of spiritual advice or preaching. I speak with no authority other than as a man who is trying to figure things out and doesn’t mind sharing his progress.
I think the Fourth of July is one of those holidays that lost some of its meaning over the years. Don’t get me wrong, some people truly celebrate our freedom but many are more concerned with the three or four day weekend and the festivities that follow. The news programs will often run stories about our brave men and women who continue to fight in order to protect our freedom. I am thankful for those men and women and believe their sacrifices should be honored. As I spent my weekend with friends relaxing, enjoying creature comforts, and enjoying the freedom that has been given to me, I began to think to myself, “What does it mean to be free and what is true freedom?”
Initially when I think about the answer to those questions, the words to the Rolling Stones song, “I’m free to do what I want, any old time,” (shame on you if you didn’t just sing that to yourself) or Dr. Martin Luther King’s words, “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, we are free at last.” Certainly I think that Dr. King had a more appropriate definition of the word freedom. I think one of the difficulties that many of us face is thinking that freedom means to choose what we want whenever we want it. This definition of freedom has led to a battle of another kind, a battle against relativism. We now live in a world where a large number of people believe that they are free only if there is no one around telling them what to do. They rebel against their parents, their teachers, the government, the law, the Church, and even God.
Most of us who are past the age of adolescence know the struggle of living under our parents’ roof. As we grew older we started to think that we knew what was best for us and thought that we should be allowed to make our own decisions. Things such as curfews, phone restrictions, bedtimes, and other rules were seen as being unjustified oppression by our parents. We were often told that the rules were for our own good but that was always a hard pill for me to swallow.
When I went to college I was free to make a lot more decisions than I previously was able to. Sometimes I made decisions based on what my parents had taught me. Other times I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Can you guess which decision making process worked the best for me? After college I worked for a police department. Those of you that do work for or have worked for a police department have certainly encountered the beloved policy manual. We always heard the expression that the policies were more guidelines than rules, although we quickly learned the difference between “may” and “shall.” To a young officer, the policies seemed stifling. They seemed to be written by people who were determined to make sure that everything was done the hard way and no enjoyment whatsoever should come from following then. At times they seemed to be as restrictive as my vest or shirt stays. It took a while to appreciate that by staying within policy at all times, I was actually freer to do my job in a way that was safe, effective, and, at times, fun.
And then there are those little rules called Natural Law and the Ten Commandments. There is that long list of things that Scripture and Sacred Tradition tell me are not good for me. Thankfully we do not have the 613 laws of the Mosaic covenant to live by. In fact, when ten seemed to be too many to the minimalist who asked Jesus which of the commandments was the most important, Jesus summarized them into two rules. And yet, many people see the way of life that stems from following these two rules as restricting and oppressive. In the name of freedom they make comments like, “The Church needs to stay out of my life and out of my bedroom,” “the church should not tell me how to raise my children,” or “who is the Church to tell me how to live my life?”
My parents, my supervisors at the police department, and even the church have told me my entire life that these rules are put into place for my own good. I have heard the phrase that freedom comes from obedience. As I get older, this makes more and more sense to me. Most of us have heard that through one man’s disobedience sin entered the world and through one man’s obedience we became free or through one woman’s disobedience we separated ourselves from God and through one woman’s “fiat” we were given the gift of the Son of God so that we might be brought back into communion with God. Even Pope John Paul II condemned (indirectly) the Rolling Stones definition of freedom when he said that Freedom is being able to choose the things that are good for us. In more philosophical terms, freedom is being able to choose what we are naturally ordered to do. As humans, we are ordered to be in full communion with God. That is the goal of life. The goal is not to get the most pleasure out of this life while we can. Instead it is to live our lives in obedience to the ways of God so that we can become more like him and one day be reunited with him in heaven. Through our obedience to God we become free to choose the things that are best for us. In doing what is best for us, we will discover happiness.
So I wonder, am I really free? It seems at times that my concupiscence and my own desires keep me from choosing the things that are best from me. My pride prevents me from being obedient at all times. There seems to be a battle for my freedom that is fought much closer to home. These are the battles that most of us fight everyday in our hearts. It seems to me that we should celebrate the victories when they occur. Perhaps we don’t need a holiday, or floats, or a particular color to mark the occasion. For me, the celebration occurs at the altar, in the Eucharist, where the war has already been won.
Pax Tecum,
Tom
PS. I know this entry is a little scatter brained. I have been mulling over these thoughts for several days and sometimes if I don’t write them down immediately they get jumbled and don’t come out as well. I offer them as an insight into what I am thinking. They are not meant as any sort of spiritual advice or preaching. I speak with no authority other than as a man who is trying to figure things out and doesn’t mind sharing his progress.
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