On the Road Again...

There are plenty of spiritual reflections and meditations that I could make about the Mass readings and different experiences over the course of the next week, but I think I will save those for another time. As I write this I am sitting at the kitchen table of my family in College Station waiting for several things before I can head out on the next leg of this journey. The laundry is almost done and hopefully the car will be fixed by the end of business today (more on that later). It is nice though to take a few moments and remember the events of this past week. Please indulge me as I would like to share them with you.

I left Our Lady of Guadalupe in Austin last Monday, August 3rd. I had lunch with the staff in the rectory and it was difficult to say goodbye to them. I was only at the parish for ten weeks but I developed some really strong bonds with both the staff and the people of the community. My Spanish is almost tolerable and I learned a lot. I look forward to becoming fluent prior to ordination so that I can better serve the local church.

I was happy to arrive in College Station but was physically and mentally exhausted. I went to bed by nine and slept through the night (a rarity for me these days). On Tuesday, I went to Mass at my home parish, breakfast with the Pastor, lunch with the Associate Pastor and just relaxed for the day. It was certainly nice to be back in College Station around friends and family.

Wednesday was a pretty big day for me. My home parish was hosting a Mass of Thanksgiving and Farewell for Archbishop Gregory Aymond who will soon be installed as the 14th Archbishop of New Orleans. Two of my brother seminarians from Austin came into town to serve at the Mass and hang out with me. Even though it had only been a few days since I had last seen them I was overjoyed to welcome them to my “home.” The day was busy with rehearsals and last minute preparations. I was pretty stressed out leading up to the Mass but once the Mass began the stress melted away. I did not want the Mass to end. It was such a beautiful experience.

After the Mass we joined the Archbishop in the Parish Activity Center for the reception. I enjoyed catching up with many of my friends and parishioners that I had not seen for several months. I was happy to introduce my seminarian brothers to my parish family. I was happy to watch hundreds of people line up to greet, to thank, and to say farewell to Archbishop Aymond. We were able to take a few pictures with him and that was great. Afterwards, a few priests and seminarians were able to spend some quiet time talking casually with the Archbishop. For many of us, Archbishop Aymond is a friend, a brother, a father, and an amazing example of what it means to be a priest of the Church. I have included a few of the pictures here.

I teased a few people that the Mass for Archbishop Aymond was actually the vigil Mass for my birthday which was on Thursday. I was happy to spend the day with my brother seminarians as well as my friends and family here in College Station. It means a lot to me that people would take the time to come spend some time (even if just for dinner) to help me celebrate the day.

Over the next few days I got to have lunch and dinner with various friends. It was nice to catch up, hear about their lives, and share a portion of my life with them. I look forward to visiting with everyone when I come home but always feel guilty that I do not get to see everyone. I spent the rest of the weekend in the parish. I served at all the Masses and got to have some great conversations with parishioners. I am always overwhelmed by parishioners’ generosity and support of me in my discernment. I relished the opportunity to have some quiet time in the adoration chapel. One of my favorite things to do when I am home is to sit in the nave of the church starting at about 4pm on Sunday and pray while the youth band is warming up. We have a great crucifix in our sanctuary and it really lends itself to meditation as I sit there and gaze at it. To be honest with you, it is not always so easy to recollect and to pray so I enjoy these opportunities when they come.

I cannot fully describe every feeling that I had while in town this past week. I will say that there is no other place where I hear the call to priestly ministry than when I am here in College Station. It has nothing to do with the specific places or really even the people. It has everything to do with being able to build relationships with people where they allow you to share the crosses and the joys of their life and then take those things to God in prayer. I have come to realize that there is nothing I can do for someone more useful than taking their intentions to prayer and asking God to bless them and to comfort them. For the longest time that just didn’t seem like enough to me. I wanted to do more! Until I can absolve, anoint, consecrate, baptize, etc. and even after that, prayer will always be enough.

I leave today to head to Temple. I will spend some time with a priest friend before heading to our Seminarian Convocation. It will be great to gather with my brother seminarians from the various seminaries and to catch up on the experiences of summer. The few days will also afford us the opportunity to say farewell to our beloved bishop. After convocation I will be going to South Texas to stay with a priest friend for a couple of days. It will give me a chance to rest, pray, read, relax, and hopefully figure some things out before I return to seminary. I will return to College Station sometime around August 19th and will leave for seminary on the 27th. Many of my brothers at other seminaries have to be back sooner. I ask that you continue to pray for me, my family, and in a special way, please pray for my brother seminarians.








I hope you enjoy the pics. I will post again soon….I hope.

Pax Tecum,
Tom

“Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died…”

These words were spoken by St. Martha to Jesus shortly after her brother, Lazarus, died. The story is told in the eleventh chapter of John’s gospel. It is a story that I can relate to personally. It is the story we hear in the gospel today on the Memorial of St. Martha.

At first, these words sound like an accusation. In fact, the gospel says that when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him. She did not wait for him to arrive, but instead went out to greet him and perhaps to ask something of him. Martha reminds Jesus that whatever he asks the Father for the Father will give him. Undoubtedly Martha was asking that her brother be brought back to life on earth. The gospel account ends with Martha’s witness that Jesus is, in fact, “the Christ, the Son of God, the one who is coming into the world.” Martha, in the midst of great sadness is able to declare her faith and hope in the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come. If only, we were all so faithful.

I have heard this gospel passage many times this summer. At Our Lady of Guadalupe, the families who come to the parish to have a funeral Mass for their loved one who has died rarely pick out their own readings. At OLG, we often use this gospel during the funeral Mass. I have heard the pastor preach his homily on this gospel numerous times (we average about a funeral per week here). Each time I get hung up on the phrase that Martha went out to meet Jesus.

Anyone who has lost someone that is close to them knows how difficult a time it can be. It is a time that will test anyone’s faith, no matter how rooted in their faith he/she is. It is a time when many people feel that God has abandoned them. It is hard to understand why a loving God would let bad things happen to good people. Sure, when we are not in the moment and can think rationally, it is easy to respond, “God allows the bad things to happen so as to bring about a greater good.” We know that in our heads, but in our hearts the words mean very little.

This morning started like most other mornings. I was sitting in the office in the rectory checking emails and preparing to begin my Spanish studies with the Rosetta Stone software. The pastor then walked in the door with a tired look on his face. Normally the pastor would be walking out the door to head to the parish office and not returning at this hour. I noticed a cup of coffee in his hand and his habit draped over his arm. Seeing the habit, I understood that he was returning from a hospital visit.

The pastor told me that he was called to the hospital for a young man (mid-twenties) who is a member of the inter-parroquial Spanish youth group that sometimes meets at our parish. While working construction five days ago, the young man fell off a roof and hit his head. The family called for a priest this morning as they were preparing to remove him from life support. The pastor told me that he anointed the young man and prayed with the family. I could tell that the early hour wake up call was not the only thing tiring out this priest.

We went about our day and I reminded myself to pray for the young man and his family during the Mass at noon. As I was sitting in the chapel, I watched many new faces showing up to Mass. Normally we only have 8-10 people at the mid-day masses but now the chapel was almost full (20-25). I guessed that from the looks of the people who arrived they were friends of the young man from the hospital. Then, during the prayers of intercession, I heard a lady pray for the eternal repose of the young man’s soul.

I must tell you that I was struck deeply by their display of faith. The pastor told me that the people who arrived at the Mass were, in fact, members of the family. Only hours after losing their family member, they were going out to greet Jesus. In their time of sadness and despair, they were going to Jesus and asking him to be with them now.

After Mass, the pastor and I returned to the rectory and were discussing the sad news of the young man’s death. The pastor told me that he had invited the family to the Mass and said that he would offer it for the young man. I kept thinking about the words to the gospel for today. I thought about the amazing faith these people had displayed. I know the next few days will be difficult for them, their friends, and the parish community. However difficult the times may be, we should all follow the example of this family (and St. Martha) and go out to greet Jesus in our time of need.

I realize that this story is perhaps one of the more personal ones (not for me, but for others) I have written about. I hope no one minds me telling the story. I have left names out for a reason. I just wanted to share with you the impact this display of faith had on me. It helps me to realize that when things get tough (no matter how big or small they may seem), we should go out to greet Jesus and not wait for him to come to us. We should turn to him and boldly proclaim, “I have come to believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, the one who is coming into the world.”

Please pray for the repose of the soul of the young man and his family.

Pax Tecum,
Tom

Coming to an end...

This week I am finishing up at Our Lady of Guadalupe in Austin. I am putting the final touches on the Altar Server Manual that I have been working on and hope to have a final product for them on Friday. I also created a power point with pictures of all of the different items used in Mass and their correct names so that Altar Servers, Sacristans, Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion, etc. can build up their vocabulary.

The highlight of last week was the closing on the sale of my house. Everything went relatively smoothly and I appreciate all of you who offered your prayers. I am happy to be free of that distraction and look forward to a year of discernment without trying to pay a mortgage, electricity, etc every month for a house I don't live in.

On the way home from the closing, the air conditioner in my car went out. I think the compressor seized up because now the car makes a horrible noise when I drive it. The car also is in desperate need of a tune-up and probably a new set of brake pads. I am going to try and get the AC fixed here in Austin (mainly due to the noise to make sure it is not something more serious) and then try to get the rest of the work done when I get to College Station. I have to wait until Wednesday to get it fixed because I am waiting on a parishioner who owns a car shop to get back into town so that I can be sure to get an honest and frugal estimate. The car belongs to the Diocese and I am trying to only fix what is necessary. Suffice to say, I miss my old car but I am still happy to have wheels, even if they are stationary at this point.

I look forward to being in College Station next week. It will be a busy time with a lot of people to try and see. I will be serving all of the masses at St. Thomas Aquinas on the weekend of the 8th and 9th so if you are in town, please stop by and say hello (to Jesus first and then me if you have time).

I hope all is well with you. It is hard to believe how fast this summer has gone by. Before you know it I will be back to waking up at 5:30am at seminary.

Pax Tecum,
Tom

Cook'em low and cook'em slow...

This is a common saying that is often heard when referring to the preferred method of cooking ribs. To get the best tasting and most tender ribs, you should cook them at low heat at a very slow rate. For me personally, I bake them (if I don’t have a smoker) for three hours at 200 or 250 degrees and then brown them up on the grill.

I was reminded of this saying as I was reading Archbishop Timothy Dolan’s book Priests for the Third Millennium. I have read this book each summer for the past three years. I first read it while I was discerning applying for seminary. Then I read it as I was preparing for my first year in seminary and now I read it again as I prepare to begin my second year.

The fourth chapter of the book talks about the virtue of humility and how it is an essential virtue for a priest to have. Archbishop Dolan, in speaking about priestly formation in particular and growth in holiness in general, mentions that we need to have more of a “crock pot” approach rather than a “microwave” approach. That is, we must realize that we are not in control of our own salvation. We do not grow in holiness by the things that we do. To think that we can merit our own salvation by the things we do and therefore do not need a savior would make us Pelagians. Another trap in our growth in humility is pragmatism. Pragmatism basically involves us priding ourselves on our practicality and getting things done. It is a focus on doing rather than believing.

I must admit that in various situations in my life I have struggled to be humble. Outwardly at times I may display what people see as humility but in my heart I still have a somewhat pragmatic approach. I tend to try and put everything in order. I love checklists and seeing my progress by looking at what I have done. In seminary, my grades (wrongfully so) became the indicator to me that I was doing the right thing. I was so focused on “doing”, that I lost track of “being.”

Perhaps the greatest test of my patience and my willingness to submit to the will of God has involved my house. God willing, I will close on the sale of my house in two days. Anyone who knows me well knows what an enormous amount of stress this has been for me. I never doubted that in the end God’s will would be done. The part that I struggled with is that it wasn’t happening on my time table. At one point I received an offer on my house and I was tempted to take it. I struggled for a couple of days before finally discerning that it was not the right time. My house was on the market for fifteen months (almost ten months with lots of showings but no offer) and only sold when I resolved myself to accept God’s will and pray for his assistance. It is somewhat ridiculous that it took me that long to realize it.

There are other parts of my life where I tend to want things done on my timetable. I want to see conversion in people sooner. I want to know that my words to them and the love I show them have an effect. I want to see the effects of my actions. I even came up with a name for this type of behavior “Boomerang ministry.” Most of us can remember playing with a boomerang at some point in our life. We throw it out knowing that it is designed to come back to us. I don’t know about you but I was never successful in having it come back to me. I was quite happy to conclude that there was something wrong with the boomerang. I was unwilling to admit that it took practice, technique, and letting go of unrealistic expectations before I would ever have the boomerang come back.

I bring all of this up because I think the same thing applies to our spiritual lives and our paths to holiness. I get quite frustrated at times when I find myself battling the same sins, the same temptations, or simply having a bad attitude. I want to be holy and I and want it now! I get frustrated when I feel like I don’t have the prayer life that I think I should have or the one that I want. I get frustrated when I feel like I have not made the progress in my path to holiness that I should.

Obviously, I need a good dose of humility. I need to submit myself to the “crock pot” style that is seminary formation. And I need to remember the words of this past Sunday’s gospel and learn to go away to quiet places to pray and rest. Next Sunday’s gospel also has a good message (i.e. multiplication of the loaves). If I bring all that I have, and nothing less) to God and give myself over to him, he will have me recline and then will provide for me in abundance.

No one likes to admit their faults or encounter the areas where we need to grow, but I would like to encourage all of you to join me in this quest to adopt a “cook’em low and cook’em slow attitude.” Let’s not put God on our timetable. I am sure that what he has prepared for us will be worth the wait.

Pax Tecum,
Tom