Let it Hurt....

The other day I was talking to a friend who was going through a difficult time in her life. To most, her problems may have seemed minor in nature, but the problems were causing her sadness. My first inclination was to say something helpful to her, something that would ease her pain and take away the hurt. The only thing that I could think to tell her was, “let it hurt, but let God hurt along with you.”

After I was done talking to her and was by myself, I began to reflect on the advice I had just given. I was not sure from where those words originated. The words had as much meaning for me and my life as it did for her. Those three words, “let it hurt” make up a difficult lesson that hopefully we all learn at one point in time.

The last year of my life has been difficult to say the least. There have been times of extreme emotional pain and hurt. There have been feelings of helplessness, worry, and misunderstanding. Like most people, when the tough times in my life came about, I did everything I could to bring my life back to normal. I did what I could to avoid feeling the pain and the hurt. I did what I could to be “happy” once again.

It is a natural human instinct to avoid pain. If our hand touches a hot stove, our hand will involuntarily jerk itself away from the heat to prevent further injury. Our body has several ways of protecting itself from injury. When we are hurt and are suffering, we will often pray to God to ease our pain and to bear our cross. However, not all pain and suffering will lead to our demise.

It is in our pain that we are able to turn inward and find our true inner person, the person that God intended for us to be. When we turn inward we are able to ignore all of the external distractions of the world. We are able to worry less about what the world wants us to be and consider more who we truly are.

We are told from a young age that we can control our lives. If we work hard enough and study hard enough we can be whatever we want. We are told that the opportunities for how we can live our lives are endless and we are free to be whatever and whoever we want. Some people spend too much time trying to be what the world wants them to be or what others think that they are. Some people will pursue degrees, careers, or relationships that the world tells them they need to pursue. Living your life in this manner may bring what you think is acceptance and, in turn, a sense of happiness. When things go “according to plan” you are lifted up and rise up. The problem is, the higher you rise, the further you have to fall when those great humbling and painful moments come about.

By examining your inner self and knowing who it is that God wants you to be, you are able to stay grounded. You begin to realize what it is in your life that brings about true happiness, the happiness that does not allow you to position yourself on a pedestal thinking that you are in total control. The pain and suffering of the fall become redemptive. The pain breaks down those false images of what we need to be. The pain tills the soil of our soul so that new growth can occur. We use our faith to water and nurture the seed that God, Himself, has planted. Notice that God loves us too much to just fix our problems. Instead, God suffers with us and continues to show us His love. Let us not forget that God demonstrated His love for us through His own passion, death, and resurrection. The resurrection, though, could not have happened without the crucifixion.

In the end, one of two things happen; we either work through the difficult times and learn from the experience, or we allow the experience to destroy us completely.

I know this entry is a little less developed and organized than the others. I am sorry if it doesn’t make sense, but it is what is on my mind today and I am having difficulty articulating it.

I think I finally have an answer to the age old question, “why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?” My answer is simply, “because He loves us that much.”

Pax Tecum,

Tom