God is a friend of mine...literally!!

In reading the Bible, especially the Old Testament, we hear stories of the great prophets to whom God spoke directly and revealed His faith. We have heard the stories of the holy saints to whom Our Lady or Our Lord Jesus Christ has appeared. I do not doubt any of these occurrences, but there have been times in my life when I wondered if God ever spoke to me. I did not think that I could hear His voice. At times, I certainly could not see Him in my life and there were even times when I could not see Him in others.

After the death of my brother, I begged God to speak to me. I wanted to hear that booming voice in the clouds. If only God would tell me what He wanted me to do with my life, I would do as I was told. I wanted to be faithful. I thought that if I did everything right and according to His Word, my life would straighten out. I kept looking for that certified letter from God in the mail telling me what to do. The letter never came. I did not get a phone call. I did not get an email from Him. I certainly did not feel like my prayer to Him was “working.”

August 26, 2006, at approximately three in the morning, I got a page on my work pager that would change my life and the lives of several others. I was called out as the on-call investigator for a train accident. I will not go into the details of the accident out of respect for those involved, but I will say that it was one of the most difficult and heart wrenching things I have ever seen. I had the unfortunate task of listening to the friends of the young man who was killed in the accident as they recounted the accident. I had the responsibility of notifying the young man’s family. The circumstances in which the parents were notified were less than ideal and I did not feel good about it, but it was the best I could do. Having made that type of call many years before when my father passed and having received the call just three months prior after my brother was killed in an accident, I did not want to tell a father that his son was not coming home.

Slowly the accident and other events in my life were eating away at me from the inside out. I was not dealing with them well and I gradually started to break down. On Sunday, September 3^rd I went to mass. I struggled through most of mass and was hurting. I walked out of mass and my priest could see it on my face as he asked, “Are you okay?” I told him the truth and I said, “No.” He asked if I wanted to talk and I said, “No offense Father, but not with you. I need to talk to Him,” and I pointed to the adoration chapel. I went into the chapel, hit my knees, and begged God to carry my cross for me. I asked Him to ease the pain and to let me know that everything would be okay. I left the chapel feeling as though God must not have heard me because I certainly could not hear Him.

The next day was Labor Day and I was off of work. I was sitting on the couch when my cell phone rang. I did not recognize the number on the caller ID. I listened to the voicemail later and it was the father of the young man who was killed in the train accident. Just over one week ago, his son was killed in an accident, and yet, he took the time to call me and thank me for what I had done. He thanked me for dealing with the situation in a compassionate and professional manner. I could not believe that a man in his situation would even give a person like me, a near stranger, a second thought. It was at that moment that I realized I heard God’s voice. I cried when I realized that God was answering my prayer through a person I had never met face to face. I had heard God’s voice and it renewed my faith that I thought had been all but lost.

Throughout the last year of my life, there has been one constant source of encouragement. After my brother’s death I learned that his favorite verse in scripture was Romans 8:28:

“We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”

As I went through the struggles of this past year I would constantly remind myself of this verse. Gradually, I came to believe in the verse which is definitively different than being able to recite it. At some point, I started passing the verse on to others when they were worried or anxious about the future.

As the year went on and the first anniversary of my brother’s death came and went, I began to face fewer and fewer struggles and difficult times. The good times and grace filled moments began to outnumber the difficult times. I began to be happy again. I had found joy in the simplest parts of life. My prayer life took on a life of its own and God did many wonderful things in my heart. There are a few people, some who are reading this now, that were with me along the journey and I thank them for their encouragement and love.

This past week I was blessed more than I could ever deserve. I was offered a full time position in service to my church. When I was first approached with the opportunity, I quickly dismissed it and thought it to be impossible. I rejected the idea. Slowly I realized that it was God calling me to service and I did not have a good reason for saying, “no.” I accepted the position and will start my new job soon. Despite the amazing opportunity I did have some angst, worry, and uncertainty about my future. In my prayer I asked God if I was doing the right thing. I told Him that I trusted in Him and would work hard at being faithful to Him. I was not waiting for an answer nor was I really expecting one.

This morning, after being out of the office for a brief time, I returned to my desk and saw an email from a guy who used to be a co-worker of mine. This co-worker left our place of work to take another job in Houston, TX. He sent me an email to tell me that he heard I was leaving my job to work for my church. He told me that he was excited that I was following God’s call in my life. He then went on to ask me if I knew what was in store for my future and then went on to say the following:

“Whatever it is, this scripture came to mind from Romans 8: And we know that in all things God works for good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

My eyes welled up with tears and I ran to show a few of my friends the email. I had never told this friend of mine what Romans 8:28 meant to me. I had not told too many people my new found appreciation for the verse. This person in particular had no other reason to pass that verse on to me other than giving way to God’s voice. Was it a coincidence? I think not. Was it God’s providence? You cannot convince me otherwise.

If ever you cannot hear God’s voice, if ever you doubt that He answers our prayers, just listen to what it is that others are saying to you. God waits for those moments when we take our hands off our ears and listen to His gentle whispers that go straight to our hearts from the mouths of our friends.

It wasn't just my ears that God had fixed so that I could hear Him. After putting a little mud in my eyes, He cured my blindness and allowed me to see Him in those around me. As I sat at dinner tonight with a group of friends that I have grown to love, I realized that God does not always need to send an email or pick up a phone to tell us that He loves us. As I looked around the table, it was the little things that reminded me of God’s love. The love of a husband for his wife of many years, the concern of a woman who makes God and service to her church a priority, the loving heart of a priest and a deacon who take time out of their busy schedules to be with their people, and the laughter and fellowship of a friend who has been there every step of the way this past year, were all I needed to remember that God is love and He is present in those closest to me.

I thank God for the ability to not only hear His voice as He speaks to me, but the ability to see His face in those sitting around the table with me. After much reflection, I have come to a fairly significant conclusion: God is a friend of mine….literally!

Deus Caritas Est,

Tom